Reflections

Well, there’s going to be 2 versions of this “Reflection” — the public one and the private one. For reasons I’ve discussed before, I don’t want to discuss some fairly important details about my trip to Vegas. I mainly don’t want other people to get in trouble because of the way some people handle their information. But suffice it to say, I had a great time in Vegas!!
Last summer, as part of a purchasing incentive, I won plane tickets for 2, and 3 free night’s hotel stay, to anywhere in the country. They all had to be redeemed by the end of August, and despite my still-existing anxiety for flying, I was not going to miss out on this opportunity!
I had sort of waited to make any definitive plans about this trip because I didn’t want to promise the trip to anyone, and then have a girlfriend or someone similar appear, wondering why she wasn’t invited. I didn’t even mention the trip to some people because I didn’t want them to be offended if I didn’t ask them to go with me. Well, needless to say, all of that thinking was for naught, and I ended up not having that girlfriend to even consider. I could have been realistic, but for once, I was optimistic. Didn’t really matter, though. The person I decided to take with me was just as fun
(probably more fun, actually) as any girlfriend would have been. I will simply publicly state, that I had plenty of new experiences, and most of them were positive!!
Let me just start by saying that when we landed, the temperature that day had reached 119 degrees! Don’t give me that dry heat bullshit! 119 degrees is hot even if it is dry. We quickly learned to party at night, and sleep during the day.
So, what did we do in Vegas? TONS!!!
We gambled for a little bit. It seems as if the dealer’s personality has everything to do with how much you win! We set down at a blackjack table with a really nice dealer. We were having fun just chatting with the dealer, but it seemed that since she was nice, that we were winning! I’m not exaggerating, but I really won the first 6 to 8 hands of blackjack. Well, after she left, we got another really cool dealer. We spent her whole hour chatting and winning (well, at least not losing). We literally spent like an hour and a half on 80 bucks. And then…. the third dealer came along… She wasn’t as pleasant, and neither were the cards! Eighty bucks gone — and then another 100 gone… It was then time for the 25 cent slot machines!!
So, after a little of that, we had to make it to the Bellagio for “O, by Cirque du Soleil”. I paid $125 per seat for this show, and was not going to miss it for anything! Well, my date had dressed up in a gorgeous red strapless dress that showed tons of leg — like I told her, “She made me look good!” But after just a little bit of walking, she realized that her heels were hurting her feet, and we still had blocks to go to get to the Bellagio. So, we caught a bike-pulled-cart ride!
The show, “O,” was amazing! Imagine all of those circus-stunts (minus the animals) done on a stage, over a huge tank of water!! The show was nearly “opera”-ish in its presentation, but just seeing all of those swimming, diving, balancing, etc. acts that close-up was simply incredible! The show even had clowns!! Amazing, even though I already used that word, is the only word I can even fathom describing this show!
Well, I had 3 free nights at the Courtyard by Marriot. But that was around a mile from the strip. Since we were there 2 more nights, we had to switch hotels — we had to be on the strip. So, we went to the MGM Grand!!! The MGM Grand is a gorgeous hotel/casino. It has tons of restaurants, a lion habitat, and one of the top pool areas in Vegas (at least according to the Travel Channel). And the rooms themselves were extravagant and inexpensive!! I cannot imagine my next trip to Vegas not involving the MGM Grand!
So, we hit the pool for about an hour. We would have stayed longer, but we had to go and pick up tickets for Howie Mandel just as the pools were going to close down. So, we had to cut that short by a little bit. When we got to the pool area, they had already started whittling down everyone to the close-up pool. So, we didn’t get to try them all out, and we couldn’t go down the lazy river through the waterfalls. But we did have some strong frozen drinks while lounging in the main pool. Close enough to my pool plan!!!
So, as I mentioned, we also saw Howie Mandel in concert. He was hilarious! I’m fairly certain that the show would have been funnier if a couple of people in the audience didn’t keep fucking with Howie. From what I hear, he’s renowned for picking on the audience, so it must have been his turn. It was still a very funny show. While at this show, we were seated by a couple celebrating their 11th anniversary. I went ahead and bought a bottle of champagne for all of us. Hell, they deserved it, and I had plans of drinking champagne with my date anyway.
We spent the rest of that night checking out the scenes on the strip. The Bellagio has a wonderful fountain & lights show that takes place every fifteen minutes from dusk till midnight. They played some kind of Tony Bennett song and had the fountains dancing at different heights and in different patterns, while the lights chased them around! Wonderful show! We also spent a little bit of time looking for the “Volcano” in front of the Mirage. We couldn’t really locate it, until the Volcano erupted — directly behind us! We ended up with front row seats!!! We also went around the Venetian, but it was too late for a gondola ride. Again, my date’s feet were bothering her, so we headed back to the MGM to get her changed into some more comfortable shoes (and a total outfit change, really). And we were going to head right back out onto the strip.
But we got side-tracked in the bar downstairs at the MGM. We ended up hanging out there and chatting and drinking, until that bar closed. That bar NEVER closes, they say, but since it was rather slow that night, they closed down to clean up. So we went to another close-by bar in the same casino, and had a few drinks before sending the bartender around the entire casino trying to find a bottle of champagne. When they finally located it, we took the bottle and 2 flutes up to the room for a romantic bath!! More about that in the private post — you CAN access it if you’re on my “friends” list!
The next afternoon, I get a call on my cell phone which totally ruined the rest of my vacation — the loan officer for the house I was buying called to say that the loan had fallen through — more about that in a separate post!! But anyway, that situation stressed me out to the point where I had to battle some minor anxiety problems while attending the final show of my vacation — Blue Man Group!!!
I had some minor problems dealing with the strobe lighting and NOT wanting to get singled out in the crowd, but once I had finally relaxed, that show completely RULED!!! Blue Man Group was extremely funny and percussive and amazing. The “finale” to the show involved basically “toilet-papering” the whole auditorium and everyone in it!!! I won’t describe it any further, but you just have to see the show. Their original instruments, and making music out of Captain Crunch are very entertaining. And the whole audience participation thing is sooooo fun! If only I had no anxiety about the loan thing, this would have been the best show I went to!
Anyways, we flew back the next day. And I had no major anxiety problems with flying or riding or getting along with my date. This Vegas trip will go down as one of my best 3 vacations ever.
Friends, make sure to check out the private post, as there are many more details!!

So, Pink is no longer on her own!! I adopted another kitten!
I adopted a male 12 week old kitten from a rescue organization called animal allies. I have since named him “Buddy”. He’s a lap kitty, who loves to crawl up on your chest and sing and rub his face on you! He’s a charcoal gray color, and so far doesn’t have any stripes or spots, although they’ll probably appear as he gets older. Oh… he’s also awfully playful!
I’m surprised at how quickly that he and Pink got along. It took about a week in total. At first, Pink would hiss and growl at him And then she watched him, but still growled at him… and then she’d only hiss and growl when SHE went up to him and smelled him. Now she bathes him, and they play together. THANK GOD this process was as quick as it was!!

Well, it was going to eventually happen… Chloe and Pink couldn’t be together forever. And the moving situation became the cat-alyst (stupid pun?) of their separation. So, from my perspective, I wanted this to be as stress-free an event as possible. But not everyone (yes, I’m speaking of Chris) is thoughtful enough to consider that.
So, here are the stresses that Chloe was going to experience

• Separation from sister — first time ever
• Adjustment to new home

That should be enough for Chloe to have to adjust to right? Well, what could we do to make that any worse? How about shaving the cat?
Yes, I said shaving the cat. Chris went and got Chloe groomed into a “Lion’s Cut” where the fur is shaved from the body except for her head, paws, and the end of her tail. This kind of a cut is usually done on long-haired cats to keep the hair from matting up in knots. But Chris decides to cut Chloe this way because “he thinks it would look cool”!!! FUCKING IDIOT!!!
So, instead of just being freaked out about looking for Pink, and wondering where’s she’s staying, she has to itch and hope the other cats don’t laugh at her. I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand. I guess placing all of the traumas on Chloe at once is better than subjecting her to several separate stresses over a period of time? But maybe not.

Well, it’s done and over with, but I am no longer living in Springfield. I’m also no longer living with Chris. And Pink and Chloe have been separated. It kind of sounds unpleasant, but it’s not really that bad.
It all started in May, when Hector, our landlord, gives me a letter saying that he would be selling the townhouse that we were living in. He said that he would give us the first chance to purchase it if we were interested. Well, since I absolutely HATE moving (more on that later), it was really in our best interests to try and buy that townhouse.
Well, firstly, Hector’s timing was perfect! Perfectly timed at the wrong time. His letter came in mid-May, just when my work is the busiest! I really did not have much time to even worry about that house because I had to put in so many hours at work. I mean, between all of the school-year-end picnics, dinners, and graduation itself (don’t even get me talking about Reunion the following week), I barely had time to breathe. So, I basically just took the information in stride and decided to deal with it when work had slowed down.
Part of the problem was that Hector wanted us out of the house by the end of June. So, about mid June, Hector gives us a letter saying that according to his market research, he was advised to sell his townhouse for $ 230K. Well, I decide to do a little market research on my own, and pretty much decide that, according to sales in the neighborhood, the house wouldn’t sell/appraise for much more than $ 200K. We call Hector over to discuss that, and he basically balks.
See, $ 200K was probably all I would want to afford on my own. I certainly was not going to go into some sort of partnership ownership with Chris. I’m not sure what he would qualify for anyway, but taking a chance to fuck up my credit was simply not going to happen. So, since $ 230K just wasn’t going to happen, we had to look elsewhere.
I had mentioned to Chris several times over the past 5 years that I would be willing to relocate anywhere half way between my work and his work. And I’m not sure he even looked in that area. But, he did say that he had signed up to rent a room at a townhouse in Centerville, and that I should consider moving out there.
Now, when I dated Kim, way back when, I frequently visited her in Centerville. It was at least a 20 minute trip from our old house. And that would have made at least a 40 minute trip to work each way. I just wasn’t going to submit myself to that. So, I let Chris go. It was an amicable split — we’re still friends (albeit a strained friendship right now — more on that later). But we had to separate the girls. Yep, for the first time in their lives, Pink and Chloe were going to be apart from each other.
There’s a potential amount of Kitty Stress that’s just going to have to happen in this situation.

Hey…
It’s been a little while since my last reflection, and lots has gone on. I really should probably have separate entries for each of the following topics, but may end up combining some of them:

• Moving Out of Springfield
• Stressed Kitty?
• Vegas Vacation
• Feelings, whoa-oh-oh feelings…
• Future Homeowner… dammit, another snag!
• Anger Management and future plans?
• Fire Marshall Bill and the Handshake Sisters

It can’t be just me… I can’t be the only person who just so happens to have this much shit happen to him. It’s currently 5:15 am, I’ve had quite a little to drink, and I can’t get to sleep for anything. Why? It just might have something to do with Erin being downstairs in Chris’ s room. OK… that’s probably all of it.
So, why does this stuff keep happening to me? Do I let it happen? Am I too passive? Am I not aggressive enough? Do I not hold my ground? Or is it that I’m just not attractive, intriguing, or interesting enough to have the opportunities come MY WAY?
Tonight just seems to be a continuation of MY WAYS!
All I had to do is not invite Chris. Would this still be happening? Or would this have not even bothered me? I’m not sure.
So, here’s what happened… Around noon, Angela gets an e-mail from Erin, asking if Trevor or I would go out with them. I make a comment to Angela, that Erin only is asking about me because there are no other options. When I make that comment, I’m only half serious. Seems to be true.
Well, Trevor is out of town, and at the time, Chris was going to be at a rehearsal dinner for his girlfriend’s sister. Well, Chris shows up at about 9:00, and I ask him if he was interested in hanging out with us. He says that he doesn’t have any money but yes, he’d like to hang out. I tell him not to worry about the money, that his drinks would be taken care of. When will I ever learn?
We meer up with Angela and Erin, and all hang out. No interest being shown by ANY parties. And I pay for a few rounds of drinks for everyone, and Chris doesn’t pay for a single drink all night. He capitalizes on the idea that Erin wants to see where we live, and invites both her and Angela back for the night. It’s pretty much understood that they’d both be spending the night, and returned to their cars in the morning.
So, we get back to our house, Chris fixes pancakes for them, and we all hang out drinking, listening to music, and doing some card tricks. I get a little bit of attention from Erin, but not enough to even get excited by.
Eventually, Angela has decided that she’s ready to go to sleep, and I notice that Erin has begun to “doze off”, and I suggest that they both go to bed in my bed, while I sleep on the sofa. Next thing you know, Erin is going downstairs with Chris. I’m not happy about this.
Chris knows about the fact that I had kissed Erin, and that I was interested in her, and that she had rejected me. But he went ahead anyway. Oh yeah, he also ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!! What part of this should I be OK with?
I tried to sleep, but that’s not happening right now. I’m not happy with the situation. I’m not sure if I should be angry with Chris. I’m fairly certain that Erin is a waste of my time in any regard. I’m just not happy with any of this.
Why should I be? To me, it’s almost like a code. If someone “lays claim” to someone, you don’t go there — EVER. It’s true, Erin told me that “it’s not a good idea” for me to take her out. But can’t she be even the least bit considerate that I might not like the idea of her hooking up (or who knows what’s happening right now?) with my ROOMMATE?
I have no more respect for Erin. I’d be fine in my life without ever having to see her again. I wouldn’t be missing anything (except more false hope).
Is there something that I’m doing that allows this continual hurt to be placed upon myself? Or am I just a victim of bad circumstances? It’s no secret that I am (was?) interested in Erin. Hell, she even knows it. I think that’s part of the reason why we kissed to begin with — she knew that it would be a “given”. I don’t know.
Right now, I’m down. I feel like she either exploited my feelings, or totally disregarded them. Neither situation is very considerate.
If only I could get to sleep… maybe I wouldn’t have to think or worry about all of this stupid stuff. At least there’s only 2 more weeks of living with Chris — maybe this will end this kind of situation. Probably not, because it’s not his fault…. there has to be something I’m doing to cause this continual, repeated pain.