Reflections

Tomorrow morning, I’m off to Detroit! I can’t wait to just get away from here… too bad I’ll have to leave here so damn early just to get there early enough to have a whole day. Ehhh… it’s vacation… who cares? I can sleep on the plane. OR I might try watching a DVD on my computer while on the plane.
Just think… a mere 4 to 5 months ago, riding on a plane was the “final test” to make sure that I was over my Anxiety Disorder. And I worried about whether or not I’d be so worried about it that I’d have a panic attack. It’s funny (well, not really) how much that whole problem builds (built?) upon itself. I didn’t have any problem then, and now am not even worried about having a problem. Bring on the fun! There is a down side to my little get-away: my sunglasses didn’t get finished before I had to leave… that means I’ll either have to buy an el-cheapo brand to get me through, or just do without (well, maybe I could borrow some)…
“Open Your Eyes”
OK… I finally managed to watch all of “Vanilla Sky” without accidentally dozing off during an important part… and my opinion?
Huh? Is this the first movie to ever discourage dreaming? I guess the “moral of the story” could be quit dreaming about it, and just get out there and do it… I could see that… but “Vanilla Sky” didn’t quite hit home with that meaning…
I think that the movie is so wrapped up in the whole Pulp Fiction-esque idea that you need to watch the movie again to figure it out, or to see what you might have missed, that the point of the movie was missed. They kept using the phrase “Open Your Eyes”… again, this could reference the “quit thinking about it and do it” mantra I previously mentioned…. but doesn’t “Open your eyes” make you think about paying attention more than waking up? Ehhh… I don’t know…
It wasn’t a bad movie (even though both Tom Cruise and Cameron Crowe both caught some criticism for this movie)… I just think they missed they point…. OR, maybe I missed the point… I’m not sure which…
The irony of this movie is that Cruise made a decision (his dream) which was supposed to last “forever”… and he chose a future with someone he had only met twice… He dreamt of a love and a future (well, that future got kind of fucked up) which had nearly no basis… At the end, he was somewhat solaced by the fact that she (Penelope Cruz’s character) had at least felt some of what he felt too…. and then he chose to “Go out and live”, because he was tired of dreaming!
I don’t know about you, but I can relate a little bit to extending thoughts toward futures with no basis (you know… “What if I ended up with her”… or “What if I did this instead of that”…), but in reality it doesn’t matter… it’s not worth worrying about because it wasn’t meant to be in the first place….
OMG, did I just relate “Vanilla Sky” to Control Issues? Methinks I’ve been in therapy too damned long 🙂 !!!
Oh, btw… I believe that I would still take a psycho Cameron Diaz over a loving Penelope Cruz any day!!!
Oh well, gotsta pack… gotsta get up pretty damn early tomorrow!!! So, Beer Distributors of Detroit, get ready, here I come!!!!!!

Man, it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve entered any Reflections… I need to stay on top of things a little better…
Last weekend was Father’s Day. So, I again ventured into the lovely world of Lynchburg to see my Dad (as well as my brother, who is soon to be a dad). What did we all do? We took a trip out of Lynchburg… to a place even more dull… to South Boston, VA… Ok, it was specifically to the South Boston Raceway to see a night of racing. Racing isn’t my thing, but both my Dad and my bro love it, so that was a cool way to hang out and let them celebrate.
We’re approaching 6 weeks until I’m gonna be an uncle! Time is a-flyin’… and when the little one decides to come, I’ll definitely be heading down to Lynchburg to see my new niece or nephew…
So, all of these trips have been about seeing family… well, this coming Wednesday, I’m off to see a friend. It sounds like a V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!!!! About fucking time!!!
At 8:55 am on Wednesday morning, I’ll be off to “Motown” or “Hockeytown”, Detroit, MI. And coming back on Sunday. I’ll be visiting a buddy of mine, Joel, who before my birthday last month, I hadn’t seen in nearly 2 years. It should a good time…. I’d almost bet money (well, we WILL do a LITTLE gambling), that drinking will fit into that equation at least a little bit. He’s talking about doing some boating (I’m hoping to Jet-Ski, too), and perhaps catching a concert or something…. It doesn’t really matter… it’s gonna be fun no matter what we get into!!!

I just got back from seeing Alanis Morissette. I had a really good time, and she put on a really good show…. but I have some thoughts…
The Lost Art
OK. I spent much of last summer too sick to even try to go to a concert. But the year before, I probably hit around 8 concerts. Could things have changed that much in 2 years? What happened to the art of tailgating before a concert? Tonight, we got to Merriweather-Post Pavilion around an hour or so before the opening band (Res or Ras or Rog from “What’s Happening”…. something like that), expecting people to be partying outside of the show… Tailgating… Well, hardly no one was… Has this trend disappeared? Do people not do that anymore?
Angry Women?
OK… Alanis is supposed to be an “Angry Woman”. She writes about how Men are so wrong and so bad… and women flock to her shows. I’d bet there was a 2:1 or 3:1 ratio of women to men there tonight… Note, I didn’t say straight women to men…
Anyways, Alanis sings about how men are basically pigs, evil and wrong. But guess what she does to make me totally disbelieve all of that? She wears a shirt, with the boobs cut out of it… .and some sort of lacy sports bra-looking thing underneath it. How can you be angry woman, anti-man, if you’re exposing your tits? She cannot have an argument that will satisfy me on this one…
Music
Did you know that Alanis actually plays an instrument? And I mean more than the 2 notes she repeats ad naseum on the harmonica… Yeah, she can play guitar, too…. I never knew….
Security Guards — for what?
Chris and I were talking to these 2 girls, when a Security Guard came up to one of the girls, took away her beer, and threw it away. She let him… and then wondered…. why did he do that? So, I ask him to come back and answer that question. His answer: “Because you have a beer”.
OK, that has to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. She bought the beer from the Merriweather Post vendors… why the hell should she have to throw it away? When the security guard found out that the beer was purchased there, he reached into his pocket and pulled out $8 for the girl to go buy another beer.
Youth
I know that Alanis is pretty young, but she appeared a little older than she is, in person. I’m not sure if the original promotes an accurate time frame, but we should be all right now!!

Yesterday was my first day back to the gym in a LONG while — over 6 months, I’d guess. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be, though. I didn’t try to overdo it. That’s the easiest way to NOT make a habit of it. I did 15 minutes on the elliptical machine, and then did chest and back, and finished up with 30 minutes on the treadmill. I got really tired in the middle of working on my back, and decided not to do Abs… probably not the best decision, but oh well… what can I do about it now?
This happened to me the last go round too: When on the treadmill, and trying to get up to a light jog, my shins would begin to hurt. I’m not sure if they’re “shin splints” or not, but it made me slow down to a fast walk instead. Again, since it was the first day back, I’m not that worried about it. If I’m still bothered by this in a couple of weeks, maybe I’ll begin to worry.
So, here’s my fitness goal: I want to lose 10 pounds by the end of the summer. That will have me near where I was at Christmas time, and at the weight I “stabilized” at after all of my medical weight loss of last year. I also would like to lose 20 pounds (that’s not 30 pounds all together, but 20 pounds all together) by the end of the year. That will put me near what I weighed when in the midst of all of my medical problems. BUT, meeting that goal will be sweeter…. by then, I won’t be on the Zoloft any more, and it will mean that I got to that weight without the medicine. As good as I looked last year when I had lost all of the weight because of the Zoloft (I know, some people thought I was TOO SKINNY), I will feel even better having gotten there by myself.
I spoke with Joel this past weekend, and he tells me that TESLA is playing outside of Detroit sometime in July. Guess What? That should have meant that I’d be there without a hitch! But in true Bri-man luck, I can’t go then. Why not? Because I already have Sheryl Crow tickets for Merriweather Post on the SAME NIGHT!! Talk about great timing!! It couldn’t have been a night apart, could it? DAMN IT!!!
Oh well, this Friday begins my summer concert series (sounds like something someone might say on the radio, huh?)!!! Friday night at Merriweather Post is Alanis Morrisette!!! Should be a good show…. and a chance to knock back a few beers!!!

There… we’ve done all of the catering for the end of the year. Everything from here on should be gravy!!! I SHOULD be able to find time to hit the gym again!! I SHOULD be able to not spend unGODly (interesting word choice seeing I work in a Seminary, huh?) amount of time at work!! I SHOULD be able to find some fun to get into!!
So, where/when does it start? Tomorrow!! BUT, it will seem even better on Friday. That’s when I get to see Alanis Morrissette in concert at Merriweather-Post. And on Saturday, Angela is coming to Wolftrap, and I’d really like to meet up with her and her friends for dinner or a drink (I sure as hell [lol@my word choice again!] wouldn’t want to go to see Garrison Kieler .. if I wanted to fall asleep, I could just pop in a movie). But, if I don’t hear back from her, then it won’t happen… Oh well… it’d be their loss 😉

It’s official, I’m 30. I’m done with the twenties. Do I feel older? Not really! Is it a milestone? Kind of… Do I wish I were still a twenty-something? Hell no!!!
The twenties were a terrible time. They were a time where you learned how to distinguish between bullshit and reality. Unfortunately, this comes at the expense of experience.
I’m GLAD that I’m finally 30. I envision my thirties as being distinguished and mature… not like the 20’s. I see the 30’s as being more relaxed and comfortable. I see the 30’s as being more happy.
So, were my 20’s unhappy? Not particularly. I just get frustrated at situations where things don’t go the way they should… And my 20’s were exactly that way.
And it’s funny that I should even feel that way. I mean my whole philosophy of life is to be just different enough to be individual… but not so different that I’m “weird”. I like to have people expect something of me, and then give them something different. I thrive on slight unpredictability.
So, here’s hoping that my 30’s will provide me with stability and happiness!! Here’s hoping that I can find (and seek?) the same out of others!! Here’s hoping that “it’ll always end up alright” isn’t a motto of consolation, but a reality. And, here’s hoping that the little things remain little, just to make the big things seem more appreciated!
Thank GOD I’m not 29 anymore!